A Mid Year Exhale in June
reminders we all need, what I read, photos and more
June was one of those months where I was deeply in a feeling/processing state. My head was down, my feet were hitting the pavement…and that’s about it.
Truly just needed to ride my emotional wave this month. One moment I was in couples therapy and all of the sudden I was so triggered I reverted back to being 4 years old and deeply terrified that I’m going to be abandoned and all alone. Another moment I was at book club and as happy and chatty as a clam. Another moment I was in individual therapy and couldn’t stop crying for the whole session. Another moment I felt energized and ideas and creativity were flooding in.
Oh to be a human!
I have so many drafts saved here on Substack. I’d get an idea and start writing about it but then I’d have this overwhelming feeling that I needed to write and process something in my journal or take a step back and breathe. I’m definitely one of those people who cannot write about something until I’ve gone through it or processed it enough to feel like I can talk about it. Writing or talking about something while I’m in the thick of it feels very overwhelming to me.
Which is hard for the season I’m in where I still am just…in it. Unraveling the confusion, pain, CPTSD and self-abandonment narcissistic abuse and developmental trauma brings.
Learning how to accept my story, and where I’m at, has been the hardest part for me because I feel like I should be further along by now. I should be more healed by now. Which I know creates more pain for myself because the resistance of it creates more of the suffering…something I try to remind myself to bring it back to acceptance of where I am.
I found myself needing to be reminded of things I already know over and over again. Sometimes it’s like that. Like your brain forgets the basics, and fundamental truths about yourself, when you’re in the thick of it.
Things like:
I am not broken, my nervous system has doing a brilliant job at protecting me through these symptoms for a long time
I am not a problem to be fixed
I am actually seeing things clearly - I do know
I am doing enough
Maybe you needed one of those reminders, too?
And so I will try again this month to take off the filter that I’ve used to protect myself, and allow myself to express my truth, my stories and myself more freely and authentically.
And I will give myself the gift of a mid-year exhale instead of a mid-year “you have only 6 months left of the year so griiiind and huuuustle and achieeeeve your goals!!!” 😝
Sending you a mid-year exhale (insert a deep breath here).
Syncing my workouts with my cycle
When you’re living in sync with your cycle, you’re working with your body, not against it. I have a very sensitive body, but my entire life up until the last few years I was able to do any kind of workout at any point in my cycle without negative effects. The last few years though, I didn’t understand why I kept bloating after a strength or HIIT workout or why I’d immediately get a headache post workout. Enter: cycle syncing. I’ve always tracked my cycle to prevent pregnancy since I’ve never been on birth control, but I didn’t think to sync foods and workouts with each of my cycle’s phases. Since syncing my workouts with my cycle phases, the changes I’ve noticed have been huge. Little to no headaches, less bloating, less muscle tension, and all around my energy levels feel more balanced.
Here are some great resources for you to check it out if this speaks to you:
Peace.Love.Hormones by Maddie Miles (my friend Maddie runs an amazing company and offers such great all around hormone support!)
Planning my outfits for our summer vacation!
If you saw my latest post, I’ll link it below incase you missed it!, I’m going on vacation and half the fun and anticipation for me is planning my outfits! It brings me so much joy to be styled, or style myself, and see the vision come to life 😍
My best friend and I started a book club! 📖
Book club feels like I’ve officially made it into womanhood 😅 I’m so proud of my bestie and I for starting our own!! We gathered 10 women and had our first book club meeting in June and it was magic. We laughed, chatted, snacked, discussed the book…I already can’t wait for July’s gathering! We’re reading Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid if you’d want to read along 💛
A podcast that spoke to me this month
If you’re not ready to become a paid subscriber and you have the capacity to leave a tip, that would be so appreciated 🦋💐
Gimme alllll the summery beach reads this time of year!
The Summer we Started Over 🌟 (lol except this one - I’ve read Nancy Thayer before and enjoyed her books. I have no idea what happened to this one, but I’ve never given a book one star before 👀)
The Tell 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 - TW: sexual abuse - wow, this book was so raw and beautifully expressed. I devoured it in two days. Even in the subtext, beyond the words, it shows how sometimes healing needs to happen without the validation of others believing your story and true, healing happens in your bones when you believe yourself.